A New Year, a New Blog

Here's the thing.

I used to have a blog.  I started it to kill time when I worked in the unionized IT department of a public school board and was asked to chill out and not program quite so quickly.  It was a typical masturbatory affair wherein I narcissistically wrote about myself in the self-stroking assumption that people would care.  Nobody really did, but my friends were kind enough to humour my efforts - I suspect they were also bored at work. My blog content gradually spiralled down a path of full and uncensored disclosure, often detailing my married sexcapades with my mortified husband, unfortunate sexcapades of various friends, anything out of the ordinary that happened on my body, and poo.

Since that blog was started in my mid-twenties, I didn't bother with discretionary precautions such as pseudonyms.  But the first rumblings of discontent started a few years later when friends started getting doctorate degrees, and people started creating their own businesses.  Suddenly people weren't so keen to have their professional reputations associated with stories of their ex-boyfriend's smelly dickcheese problem that kept giving them urinary tract infections.

Soon after, I quit my job and got pregnant.  With the arrival of our first baby boy, blogging our inappropriate stories was pushed to the back burner.  With the arrival of our second baby boy, blogging was removed from the stove completely and relegated to a trivet on the counter to grow mould.  With the current pregnancy of our third child (a girl, finally!), blogging was about to be scraped out into the green bin.  But the truth is, I love talking about myself, like, a lot.

So here's the decision.  A new year, a new blog.  One that doesn't have the spotty track record and real names of the previous blog.  This blog will use pseudonyms to protect the reputations of people who think that anyone important might actually read this rag.  This blog will strive for regular updates.  This blog will not let you down!  At least for the first couple of months.  Then this baby is coming out, and who knows what will happen then.